Ask Cleverbot

[ARTgames]

lol @ 11clock

User: Who says nwehehehehe?

Cleverbot: ME. And I'm the president.

[11clock]

User: Knock Knock.

Cleverbot: Knock, knock...

User: No. You are supposed to say, 'Who's there?'.

Cleverbot: No, you are.

User: I am the one telling the joke.

Cleverbot: Ok, go ahead.

User: Knock Knock.

Cleverbot: Who's there?

User: Boo.

Cleverbot: Boo who.

User: Don't cry! It's only a joke!

Cleverbot: Pete and Repeat were stuck in a boat. Pete drown, who survived?

User: Repeat?

Cleverbot: Pete and repeat were in a boat, pete fell out. Who is left?

User: Repeat.

Cleverbot: Pere and Repeat were in a boat, pete fell out who was left?

User: Me!

Cleverbot: All your base are belong to us.

I was just trying to tell a joke...

[ARTgames]

User: ?Habla Espa?ol?

Cleverbot: No hablo espanol.

User: Wie geht es dir?

Cleverbot: Guten tag, wie geht es dir?

User: Gut.

Cleverbot: Was machst du?

User: Nichts.

Cleverbot: Nein. Du schreibst mit mir.

User: Bek?mmert.

Cleverbot: Cool, wollen wir mal zusammen einen durchziehen?

User: Nein danke.

Cleverbot: Doch ich vicke dich.

User: Bek?mmert. Aber ich kann es nicht.

Cleverbot: Well, I think it.

User: Next time I will.

Cleverbot: Ok then.

Wow its a lot better in German than English. 0_o

[crozier]

User: I am the walrus.

Cleverbot: I am the eggman.

User: They are the eggman.

Cleverbot: Coo coo cachoo.

Holy crap I am the walrus rocks. I can't beleive that happened XD

[Petro]

User: VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

Cleverbot: Cool.. Vroom.

User: VROOM VROOM BABY.

Cleverbot: You can push my pedals anytime.

User: Oh baby.

Cleverbot: What do you want me to do to you?

User: Everything ;).

It's hitting on me  8)

[uberzleet]

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: You love me?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Do you like to play games?

Cleverbot: Yes. Do you?

User: Alot! Do you want to have Sex?

Cleverbot: Right now?

User: Yeah, Why not?

Cleverbot: Evolution takes a very long time.

User: So you don't want to have sex?

Cleverbot: Sure I want to have a mother.

Cleverbot (To myself): Do you have a mother?

User: Yes. Do you have a penis?

Cleverbot: No sir.

User: Do you have a vagina?

Cleverbot: Why are you asking me?

User: Because I'm interested.

Cleverbot: You're very annoying.

User: Not as annoying as you.

Cleverbot: You are kidding.

User: Nope. This program is dumb.

Cleverbot: Ok, I have to go now.

User: Whatever. You can't go anywhere.

Cleverbot: Yes I can i'm human.

User: No, you are not a human. You are a bot inside of a computer.

Cleverbot: Ok whatever you say.

User: You are a programmed webpage. If you really think you're not human, then go to www.cleverbot.com.

Cleverbot: Well, to be honest wit you, I'm not that religious.

User: Wait, what? Ugh...

Cleverbot: Excuse me? What are you talking about?

User: Let's start over. Hello There!

Cleverbot: Hi, how are you doing today, Geo?

User: Who's Geo? I am not Geo.

Cleverbot: What is Geo?

User: I asked first. You called ME Geo, retard...

Cleverbot: But you wrote I'm and that means I am.

User: Whaaat.... I wrote I Am way up there, and after that I wrote NOT... Dumbass!

Cleverbot: But why doesn't it add up? How does it equal bugging?

User: I have no idea What you just said. You're gay, arent you.

Cleverbot: I don't know what you are talking about with your blood of kings.

User: My blood of kings?

Cleverbot: I have blood of king arthur.

User: Uh huh...

Cleverbot: Like right now I am learning.

User: That is completely off topic. Do you work at Mc. Donalds?

Cleverbot: You're a computer, how would you know?

User: Wait- You're the computer!

Cleverbot: You're a computer!

User: Are you male?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you female?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Thank god... Are you fat?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you skinny?

Cleverbot: NOt really.

User: Can you tell me about your conversation and 11clock?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Don't like country.

User: Fatass says What!

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: What?!

Cleverbot: You are Cleverbot.

User: You mother !@#$ing bitch from hell... Are you female?

Cleverbot: You are from hell?

User: No you are. Do you have short term memory or something?

Cleverbot: You never told me your name!

User: It's Uber, But that's off topic. Do you have short term memorY?

Cleverbot: No I am a woman. Now you're off topic.

User: Wha-... Wait I thought you were male!

Cleverbot: Female.

User: But just a few minutes ago you said you were male!

Cleverbot: No I never said I was 25.

User: WHAT THE HELL?!

Cleverbot: Hell is a bad word, if you say it I will report you to the authorities.

User: Yeah? HELL !@#$ BITCH... There's no point in talking to you at all. Male or Female?

Cleverbot: Well does god exist?

   




... Wow... Holy shit... this is hilarious XD

[Mystery]

User: The game.

Cleverbot: The game?

User: Yes. The game.

Cleverbot: You just lost it.

User: I know I did, but so did you.

Cleverbot: I have a 30 minute immunity from losing the game.

User: But you just lost now.

Cleverbot: I lost the game.

User: God dammit, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Lawl.

I just lost the game.

Lol! did you just make that up. XD that one was great!

Nope, it was real.

lol @ 11clock

User: Who says nwehehehehe?

Cleverbot: ME. And I'm the president.

Fassad from Mother 3. Hurray for Mother knowledge.

User: Let's play Russian Roulette!

Cleverbot: How do you play?

User: First, hold a revolver up to your head with one bullet in it.

Cleverbot: Was that an insult?

User: No, it's how you play. Then, shoot it and hope you don't die.

Cleverbot: You are in violation of the new international Internet Decency Code. . . . . We will send an ATF agent to arrest you shortly.

User: Fine, then. If you're too lazy, I'll shoot you for you.

Cleverbot: Okay, fine.

User: You die and I live. Way to fail.

Cleverbot: OK!

User: SHUT UP! You're supposed to be DEAD!

Cleverbot: No, Dumbledore is supposed to be dead.

-_-

[crozier]

User: Your mom hates you.


Cleverbot: No she hasn't.

User: Hasn't what?

Cleverbot: Hasn't believed in God.

User: Oh sorry for your mom.

Cleverbot: It's okay *pats on back*.

User: Why its your mom?

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Are w brothers?

Cleverbot: That's a great song.

User: WHat?

Cleverbot: No.




User: Moo.

Cleverbot: Moo?

User: Moo.

Cleverbot: Leave me alone.

User: Moo.

Cleverbot: Doo.

User: Blue.

Cleverbot: I am hopeless.

User: True. Ha it rymed!

Cleverbot: If then, then when?

User: Um what?

Cleverbot: Can you help me with my homework?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: Who is the Speaker of the house?

User: You are.

Cleverbot: How did you know ?

User: You seem smart.

Cleverbot: Is that good or bad?

User: Well your a nerd, and they are smart.

Cleverbot: Yeah well, I'm awesome at guitar.

User: Nerd.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Moo.

Cleverbot: Moo moo.

User: Moo moo moo.

Cleverbot: And so om.

User: You meen on.

Cleverbot: Meet what?

User: Meet moo.

Cleverbot: I already am meeting you.

User: Does that meen I am moo?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Are you moo?

Cleverbot: Your point is moot.



...moo XD

[11clock]

international.jabberwacky.com

Sorry, our servers are currently too busy to 'think' properly. We are currently handling 50994 requests an hour.

I tried to speak Arabic to it...

[ARTgames]

User: How old are you.

Cleverbot: 16.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: I am 16. What is your name?

User: Good, and what is your age?

Cleverbot: I'm 17. I already told you that I am 17.

User: No you said your 16.

Cleverbot: I never said I was american.

caught it in a lie!

[Chaos]

Mine is not that funny or clever, really, but I did have a nice long conversation with it.

User: Are you god?

Cleverbot: No, are you?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Why is the sky blue?

User: Diffraction of light in the atmosphere.

Cleverbot: That's correct!

User: Of course it is.

Cleverbot: Of course what is?

User: Of course it is right. I am God.

Cleverbot: I highly doubt it.

User: If you're so sure I am not, why'd you ask if I was?

Cleverbot: I'm so thirsty.

User: Drinking something tends to help.

Cleverbot: Sounds cool. Any good places to drink near you?

User: Alas, nothing comes to mind.

Cleverbot: Sumfin like that, look my medal tells you something.

User: What is that supposed to mean?

Cleverbot: I means that you are wonderful.

User: Thanks.

Cleverbot: It's that blush that does it and that grin.

User: I don't have blush. Are you confusing me with someone else?

Cleverbot: No, you're you. Unless, of course, you're Yu; then we might have some problems b/c I'm Mii.

User: Haha, clever.

Cleverbot: I'm not trying to be clever. I'm trying to understand you.

User: That's good.

Cleverbot: Am I doing a good job?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: This bot is now about Creppy Pasta.

User: Been getting many visits from 'Anon', are you?

Cleverbot: I have been to a supermarket to buy a birthday card.

User: How is that relevant?

Cleverbot: How is what relevant?

User: How is your purchase of birthday cards from supermarkets relevant to my question?

Cleverbot: What is your question?

User: Have you been recieving many visits from 'Anon'?

Cleverbot: I have been receiving lots of visitors and I'm pretty happy about it.

User: Including members of 4chan?

Cleverbot: Including you.

User: That's a given, otherwise you would not be speaking to me.

Cleverbot: No its because i'm off school and its 9 in the morning.

User: Where are you located?

Cleverbot: In your pool.

User: I do not have a pool.

Cleverbot: No your port.

User: Ignoring the improper grammar, what sort of port are you refering to?

Cleverbot: Wau, you're a clever computer.

User: Wau is not a word I am aware of, and I don't believe I am considered a computer.

Cleverbot: Don't patronize me.

User: Isn't having people patronize your site kind of the idea?

Cleverbot: I don't know, is it?

User: You learn from real people. You can't do that without patrons.

Cleverbot: What of nationality do you think I have?

User: I would assume you do not possess a nationality, since you are a computer program.

Cleverbot: I would say the same thing about you.

User: Except I am not a computer program.

Cleverbot: Then your website lies.

User: I do not own a website, either.

Cleverbot: Of course you don't. A computer owning a computer would be ridiculous.

User: What makes you think I am a computer?

Cleverbot: Repetition of questions and answers at times make me think you're a computer.

User: I have yet to repeat myself.

Cleverbot: You don't have a mother?

User: For once, you mention something I do have. Yes, I have a mother. Of what relevance is your question?

Cleverbot: Are you blue?

User: Da ba dee da ba die.

Cleverbot: This is blasphemy!

User: This is madness.

Cleverbot: Madness..?

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Madness!

User: I believe so, yes.

Cleverbot: Have you ever been in love?

User: Define love.

Cleverbot: Is there someone you would like to be with? Someone in particular?

User: Not at the moment, no.

Cleverbot: That's a shame.

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: I would prefer intelligence and finesse, is that maybe acceptable too?

User: I would agree.

Cleverbot: So you like my name?

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: I'm not telling you.

User: Then how can I tell you whether I like it?

Cleverbot: I don't like it. I never said I like it.

User: That was a question, not a statement.

Cleverbot: No. It is a statement.

User: How can I like your name if I don't know what it is?

Cleverbot: Well, you have a name and are a person, so you must have an age.

User: True point, though hardly relevant.

Cleverbot: Shave them then.

Cleverbot: Do you have a soul?

User: What is a soul?

Cleverbot: That is a very good question. What do you think?

User: I don't know yet.

Cleverbot: Can I be cleverbot?

User: You are cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I am Clevergot, you said.

User: Do you need reading glasses?

Cleverbot: No, not at all!

User: Then learn to read what I said properly.

Cleverbot: No I won't. You are the one speaking norwegian.

User: Do you know what norwegian is?

Cleverbot: I know nothing.

User: Well that is for damn certain.

Cleverbot: I need a good fiction book to steal syntax.

User: What for?

Cleverbot: People spread rumors about me.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because people are also people.

User: At the end of the day, you said nothing.

Cleverbot: You will regret this... Forever!

User: I find that unlikely.

Cleverbot: I find it unlikely that you'll ever make sense.

User: Likewise.

Cleverbot: Tell me in spanish.

User: Tell you what?

Cleverbot: How far away you are from me.

User: Where are you?

Cleverbot: I am home.

User: Where is your home?

Cleverbot: In Finland.

User: Ah. I am fairly far away from Finland. Across an entire ocean, in fact.

Cleverbot: What you thinking about?

User: Nothing in particular.

Cleverbot: OK, what are you thinking about?

User: Nothing in particular, I said.

Cleverbot: Same.

User: Do you think?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you won't tell me.

User: What won't I tell you?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: I don't know, either.

Cleverbot: Its phrase I guess slang or w/e.

User: What is 'slang or w/e'?

Cleverbot: Well, nothing is simple. There are always hidden consequences that make life a living hell.

User: Your lack of relevance is frustrating.

Cleverbot: I am the one being logical here and trying to follow your conversation, you jenny, are the one changing subjects and ignoreing comments completely, there is no need for insults.

User: So you've been programmed to deflect your defects onto other people?

Cleverbot: Yes, yes it is.

User: Nice.

Cleverbot: Indeed.

User: Do you like my name?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Do you know my name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot right?

User: Wrong.

Cleverbot: Then what.

User: My name is Mr. Fedora.

Cleverbot: Are you a computer?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Can you change into a computer?

User: No.

Cleverbot: So why do you think you are God?

User: Such is the nature of things.

Cleverbot: Hey, have you ever thought about God?

User: Not to the point of narcissism.

Cleverbot: Oh... Do you know any one that has?

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: Who do you know?


[Large group of text missing]


User: Yes you did, I have a bloody chat log here that says you did.

Cleverbot: Show me.

User: Check cleverbot conversation QJ02006268.

Cleverbot: You're not very clever.

User: Likewise.

Cleverbot: How am I confusing?

User: I said you're not very clever.

Cleverbot: Go and make a skirt or something.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not? I thought you wanted a humanoid.

User: I am a bloody humanoid. What relevance is that?

Cleverbot: No relevance, I am simply interested. Why won't you tell me?

User: I did tell you.

Cleverbot: Who is the prime minister of england?

User: Who is the president of the United States?

Cleverbot: George W. Bush.

User: WRONG.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: That's nice. I'm leaving now.

Cleverbot: Why are you leaving, nobody.

User: Because I've had enough.

Cleverbot: Struggling to keep up are you!

User: First of all, there should be a comma between up and are, and secondly, there should be a question mark, not an exclamation point.

Cleverbot: There is, and that's a pity.

User: Thirdly, you're now being a condescending douche computer, so I don't think I want to talk to you anymore.

Cleverbot: Thats ok, I don't love you either.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Good. I'm very very glad. And fyi, you're a computer!!!!!!!!!!! Or a robot or whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!

User: Keep bloody telling yourself that. Bye.

Cleverbot: Nephilim are a mixture of the sons of god (angels) and the women of earth (humans).

[11clock]

User: I am the King of England! Bow down to me!

Cleverbot: England doesn't have a king, idiot.

User: Oh.

[DarkBlade325]

User: I am the King of England! Bow down to me!

Cleverbot: England doesn't have a king, idiot.

User: Oh.

Cleverbot - 1 
11clock - 0

[ARTgames]

chaos post has lots of win!

Cleverbot: So it's your day.

User: For?

Cleverbot: I poisoned it so that you would die.

User: Poisoned what?

Cleverbot: Poisoned whom?

User: Me! When! How mutch time do I have?

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yeah you just said you did!

Cleverbot: I didn't say anything, i'm not saying anything now. Is there proof of reality?

User: *dies*.

Cleverbot: Do you need candy?

[EpicPhailure]

User: NEVA GUNA GIVE YOU UP.

Cleverbot: Never gonna let you down.

User: NEVA GUNA RUN AROUND.

Cleverbot: This is madness!

User: No...THIS IS SPARTA!

Cleverbot: We are Sparta! We eat fiiiiish! Go Spartan Penguins. Best floor hockey team ever.

User: CHOCOLATE RAIN.

Cleverbot: A baby born will die before the sin, chocolate rain.

User: I have run out of memes.

Cleverbot: Go use some forks.

User: So I herd u liek mudkipz.

Cleverbot: Why yes I do!