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I need some help... About a girl

Started by krele, December 04, 2010, 10:38:29 PM

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Hikarikuen

In my defense, he already got a lot of advice, so I figured a joke would be tolerated. Sorry if it seemed disrespectful or something.

Lingus

My 2 cents:

Not sure if people responded on these bits, but anyways...

Was there any proof, besides her being happy, that she hooked up with someone? If not, I would definitely not jump to conclusions. Perfect birthday to her could very well be spending time with her girlfriends doing girly stuff or whatever high school girls do.

The comment about "mood swings" from your description just sounds like a typical high school girl. Not to be condescending, but a lot of girls act that way. I wouldn't really be concerned about it. As long as she's pretty cool most of the time, no matter who you're getting involved in you're going to have to deal with some "rough" patches here and there.

On the travel time issue, 1 hour does not seem too bad at all. That's about a typical daily commute for the area I'm in, so... In any case, as others have mentioned, if you like her, you'll deal with it.

Matty_Richo

Quote from: krele on December 05, 2010, 08:42:56 AM
@Matty:
I really don't have as much time as you think I have... Keep in mind both are looking really hot, and guys are pretty much killing each other over them. That's the whole point, I don't know her as much as I want to before entering a relationship, not nearly enough. But since we like each other that much, I'm ready to take a risk. However, there's a fine line between taking risks and being plain stupid, so I want to hear your opinion.

In that case, I say go for whichever one you like more. If you choose the girl that lives far away, you need to make it work, you've proved that she is worth it (and you're definitely lucky to have found a girl like that), and if she really likes you too then it shouldn't be impossible to do. My only advice would be that in a long distance relationship you will have to find a way to meet up (you going to where she lives, her coming to you, meeting halfway etc..) because if you don't see her in a long time then It'll be a lot harder.
But with all that said, if you really like and you think she's worth it, then go for it!

DarkTrinity

#33
Quote from: T-Rok on December 05, 2010, 02:05:22 PM
But Yankyal, any relationship worth having is worth working for. To a certain extent of course. The mood swings are definitely a caution sign, but for all he knows she may have been pmsing. And before any girls get all over this post, not that there are that many on this forum, I know not every girl gets all freaky from it, but some do. It all really comes down to what he is willing to do.

Hahahaaaa. While I am not one to get psychotic every month, there are women who have used PMSing as an excuse for murder. So yeah, I could see that.
Having the best birthday of your life doesn't have to do with getting laid. Maybe a man's best birthday....>_> Granted I also don't know how old either of you are, but I'm doubting that's the case. Also, disagreeing on music isn't always a bad thing. My boyfriend and I listen to some of the same music, but he generally listens to more RnB than I do. And while we get in joke arguments about it, it's really not a relationship deal breaker... Agreeing on everything is rarely fun nor exciting. There's probably plenty of other things that you do have in common. It's okay to poke fun at each others musical interests, but it's better to not say things like " that music sucks, listen to what I like"

My boyfriend use to live 5 minutes away from me until his dad passed away last year, then he moved and lived 30 minutes away. It's definitely not 50 miles, but it's still difficult. But seeing each other on a daily basis isn't always a good thing either, you'd probably get sick of each other faster. lol. There are things you can do to make things easier (depending how old you are...) you could stay the night at each others houses, granted most parents aren't okay with this, but some are. You could also have like, webcam chats every once & a while. Or, start an online game with her, if she's into that kind of thing. Or play iSketch together. Just throwing out ideas. My point is there are ways you can still "hang out" and get to know each other without actually physically hanging out.

Forum

Quote from: Hikarikuen on December 05, 2010, 05:26:41 PM
In my defense, he already got a lot of advice, so I figured a joke would be tolerated. Sorry if it seemed disrespectful or something.
I wanna be the guy...:(
Officially quitted


Bread

Alright, Krele. Quick reply here.

Firstly, you don't know this girl well enough to torment yourself over whether or not there is another guy. It is not worth it, trust me. If she does in fact like you, then all hope is not lost. Get to know her first, find out what she likes/dislikes, then you can worry about all that. I think that if you can truely see yourself with this girl, and she makes you happy when you're around her, then go for it, my man. If it does not work out, I would move on and see if the other girl is your type, and if it could work. Idk if this helps, but it's my input. lol. It's cool that you ask us things like this, though. This community is like a small family in a way. It is to me, anyways.
Good luck, Krele! Go get her, tiger ;)

like T-Rok said, any relationship worth having is worth working for. That's the truth.

krele

Sorry to revive this... Just wanted to post what happened...

So I didn't want to shoot to kill, because I felt it's kinda too early...
We talked a lot, I got to know her much better, etc... So yesterday,
we were on skype, making fools out of ourself on webcams... That's
when she told me "I'm really special to her"... It was a pretty good
feeling, and she finally gave me something that's 100% positive, and
there's no negative side to it... So I felt like telling her how I feel, and
how I think we could really have a good relationship. Since I couldn't
see her at school 'till Wednesday, I wanted to send her a message on
facebook. That's when I noticed a new-feed "Sarah is in relationship with
Mario *some last name*"... I was really confused and sort of disappointed.

I understood what kind of person she really was... I wasn't wrong when I
assumed she might've hooked up with someone else. So there she comes on msn,
like nothing happened, saying "=( Wasn't it your turn to start a convo?", to
what I responded with "Aren't you in a relationship now"... Then she started
talking about how it's not a relationship "YET", etc... She then asked me did
I count on her being me girlfriend, to which I responded affirmatively. In the
end she explained how she doesn't believe in distance-relationships, and how
she's afraid to get into it... I told her what I think about relationships like
that, and how it was pretty childish of her to do what she did...

My question is, What-The-!@#$? WHY on earth do you keep telling someone
that you like him, and that he's special to you if you don't want a relationship
with him? And then you totally screw him over over the night! Why did she
still start a conversation with me? What's the whole "not-a-relationship-yet"
thing? What's the big deal? Do I have right to be pissed? Where did I go wrong?
Perhaps in this age it's ridiculous to show liking to only one girl/boy?

~ Krele

Cactuscat222

Welcome to the world of women and dating.

And quite honestly, that is all there is to it :/ I'm sorry man, that sucks, but this kind of thing seems to happen more often than not. Just gotta chug along and find the person who really feels the way they say they do.


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Bread

She was leading you on. She likes attention. Women are !@#$ed up, Krele.

Just don't dwell over it. She told you all that nonsense, only to go back on her word. I know it sucks, I really do, but she is obviously not worth it, Krele. You want somebody that can't look you in the eye and lie to you.

krele

Ehh... I did consider a possibility, but didn't know she was that kind of a person... Usually girls I don't like end up being awesome as a person, and every girl I really like ends up being a whore...

This never happened to me before... But that could be because I spent a year and a half with one girl...

Bread

Just keep trying. You'll find somebody. It could take years, but it'll be well worth it.

T-Rok

#41
You went wrong nowhere, and well you do have a right to feel anger, don't feel the anger towards her or anyone in particular. She may have been hurt in a long distance relationship. It sounds like she really does like you, but she is afraid. The question is are you willing to make every attempt you can to get her? I spent essentially a year watching my now girlfriend date other guys because she was, and I quote her "blind to her rebellion and confused" and could not see what she really felt. Its cheesy and kind've put more simplistically, but you will get the point. I understood what was happening and so I was there for her when she needed me, no matter what it was. I'm sure you can understand how hard this was, and I do not suggest it for anyone, nor do I condone it except for under the proper circumstances. You have to figure out a few things.

1. How much do you like her
2. Are you dating just to figure out what type of girl you like, or because you want her forever (yes I know this is something you don't ask younger people usually, but being Mormon teaches you a few things about how to find someone.)
3. After a year, where would you and her be? 2 years?
4. Is it worth it.
5. Is she just as crazy as you?

In my scenario, 1 was more than anyone could understand, 2 is already answered above, 3 was still together, 4 was definitely, and 5 was yes. So unless you feel that there is no way ever that once you started dating her you would never give up on her I don't suggest you hang on while she dates others and plays you, possibly even without knowing she is playing you. Nor do I suggest friendship because you will still possibly be hurt, but friendship is a personal choice. Its a very difficult decision to make and most of society will end up with the answer of no, but if you are one of the few who end up with the answer of yes, I hope your burden is light.

I hope I have helped in some sort of way. What I say may take aback a few people, but hey its the truth in my opinion. I suggest others also share their opinion to create a comparison for Krele.

edit: @Bread: No where has she gone back on her word, she never once promised anything.
edit 2: How old are you Krele? Want make sure I'm not using super intensive ideas and suggestion on a little feller.

Forum

Quote from: krele on December 13, 2010, 07:02:08 PM
Ehh... I did consider a possibility, but didn't know she was that kind of a person... Usually girls I don't like end up being awesome as a person, and every girl I really like ends up being a whore...

This never happened to me before... But that could be because I spent a year and a half with one girl...
Wait how old are you ? In my age group theres no on dating. But theres always a couple of kids who talk about immature stuff like fapping but after i started having health class we talk about stds ect o.o.
Officially quitted


Bread

Quote from: T-Rok on December 13, 2010, 07:09:11 PM

edit: @Bread: No where has she gone back on her word, she never once promised anything.


When you are a female, and you tell another male how you like him and he is special to you, and then go and get into another relationship shortly after, I consider it going back on your words. If she truely felt that way, she would have at least tried, instead of jumping into the hands of another person. T-Rok, if you were so special to me, and I really liked you, I wouldn't hook up with DaemonClawz simply cause he is closer in distance. I would keep my word that YOU are special to me, not Mario *some last name*

T-Rok

I understand that, but as we all know, girls are all confused. Except you DT, your not confused because you play video games. xD