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Started by aedan, March 26, 2011, 11:23:21 AM

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aedan

Can somebody make me a signature with anything related to stick-online?



Scotty


aedan




Lucifer

SCREW YOU AEDAN!
IT'S MINE!


aedan

Quote from: Lucifer on March 26, 2011, 12:16:08 PM
SCREW YOU AEDAN!
IT'S MINE!
that's ok luci I dont want it anyways



Scotty

Quote from: aedan on March 26, 2011, 12:15:15 PM
Quote from: Scotty on March 26, 2011, 12:03:12 PM

???

Thank you for your overly optimistic feedback towards my work of art.  I welcome any and all constructive criticism, yours no doubt will extend my career to new levels that I never even so much have dreamed a possibility.  Due to the intensive labor involved, I am stamping the price at $547.95 for my efforts.  You may contact me in private so that we can discuss proper means to expedite the payment before you apply the signature to the forum. 

Proprietary work is no joke, and I've gone to lengths to ensure that all copyrights have been taken care of before senselessly exposing my creativity.  You can't be too careful in today's world, where there are thieves who couldn't care less about stealing your work, defacing it with something as simple as MS Paint by drawing silly white lines across it, and claiming it their own, although I doubt anyone could possibly have the creative capacity to alter my work in a way that I would not recognize, nor the court when I go to bring swift justice down on them. 

I once was driving down I-5 in California when I happened across a billboard with a rather catchy looking advertisement.  It was for a restaurant that had recently started up in the neighborhood, and showed promise to become the next big steak house in the state, possibly expanding and branching out into other states.  I wasn't particularly fond of their sirloins though as they were a little too chewy for what a succulent sirloin should be, but no less, I can't be one to judge a prospective steak house off of one meal, or even forty-seven.  After all, every steak that comes out of that kitchen is a master-piece to someone's hard labor, much like the hard labor involved in my graphic design where a stick figure was humping the steak into a tenderized, near-hamburger consistency.  So when i see this graphic on the billboard, adjusted to appear as a lion humping a cow into pulverized meaty morsels, I immediately traveled to the restaurant and drafted up my intention to sue on a napkin, leaving it with the lady at the front who seats customers.  I now bask in free chewy sirloin steaks on every visit!

I await your contact so that we may conclude our business, and look forward to working with you in the future.

krele

Quote from: Scotty on March 26, 2011, 03:21:52 PM
Quote from: aedan on March 26, 2011, 12:15:15 PM
Quote from: Scotty on March 26, 2011, 12:03:12 PM

???

Thank you for your overly optimistic feedback towards my work of art.  I welcome any and all constructive criticism, yours no doubt will extend my career to new levels that I never even so much have dreamed a possibility.  Due to the intensive labor involved, I am stamping the price at $547.95 for my efforts.  You may contact me in private so that we can discuss proper means to expedite the payment before you apply the signature to the forum. 

Proprietary work is no joke, and I've gone to lengths to ensure that all copyrights have been taken care of before senselessly exposing my creativity.  You can't be too careful in today's world, where there are thieves who couldn't care less about stealing your work, defacing it with something as simple as MS Paint by drawing silly white lines across it, and claiming it their own, although I doubt anyone could possibly have the creative capacity to alter my work in a way that I would not recognize, nor the court when I go to bring swift justice down on them. 

I once was driving down I-5 in California when I happened across a billboard with a rather catchy looking advertisement.  It was for a restaurant that had recently started up in the neighborhood, and showed promise to become the next big steak house in the state, possibly expanding and branching out into other states.  I wasn't particularly fond of their sirloins though as they were a little too chewy for what a succulent sirloin should be, but no less, I can't be one to judge a prospective steak house off of one meal, or even forty-seven.  After all, every steak that comes out of that kitchen is a master-piece to someone's hard labor, much like the hard labor involved in my graphic design where a stick figure was humping the steak into a tenderized, near-hamburger consistency.  So when i see this graphic on the billboard, adjusted to appear as a lion humping a cow into pulverized meaty morsels, I immediately traveled to the restaurant and drafted up my intention to sue on a napkin, leaving it with the lady at the front who seats customers.  I now bask in free chewy sirloin steaks on every visit!

I await your contact so that we may conclude our business, and look forward to working with you in the future.
....... Damn.

God-I-Suck


Delicious

Baha, I'd charge a bit more than half a grand for all those few seconds put into that piece of art. Excellent work as usual, Scotty. Very advanced stuff.
<3

Scotty

Quote from: Delicious on March 26, 2011, 05:19:06 PM
Baha, I'd charge a bit more than half a grand for all those few seconds put into that piece of art. Excellent work as usual, Scotty. Very advanced stuff.

Thank you for your concern over the possibility of amassing a large financial deficit by not properly appraising my works of fine craftsmanship.  I will forward your suggestion onto my highly qualified marketing team and proceed to lash them with barbed whips for attempting to short-change my hard efforts.  It is clear that I overpay them for their efforts, since not long after you mentioned my mistake, I too realized that the value of such work should be double, if not triple the original quote.  As of lately, since payments have been sporadic at best, I've replaced all forms of monetary compensation to my marketing team with near-fresh roadkill, with promises that eventually I may be able to purchase a company BBQ pit so that we may properly cook the animals vice having to sit at our desks and chewing the flesh from the animals, spitting the hair into our "Locks for love" donation bucket.  I'm sure those children would be honored to accept such hard endeavors at trying to bring them hair after intense leukemia treatments.

Before my career as a successful graphics artist took off, as a child my primary source of income was running a street-side lemonade stand.  My father, in full appreciation of my attempts at trying to achieve a stable source of income swiftly hired a team of three men to handle all marketing for the lemonade that I was selling, with promises that I would reimburse the payments accrued for the team by selling enough lemonade.  They advised me that my income to expense ratio was far off and in order to receive considerable profit or even pay off the fees associated with hiring the marketing experts, I need to raise the cost from fifty cents to $65 dollars a cup.  I am no expert at estimating prices for plastic cups filled three-quarters full with lemonade, but the idea seemed a bit ambitious.  If it were to work though, I was certain to retire to a beach house in Fiji at the age of seven.  Once a customer came by and was outraged by the price, insisting that he could go down the street to the convenience store and purchase a minute-maid lemonade for seventy-five cents before tax.  He tried to haggle me down while I had my marketing team whispering advice into my ears.  The deal went south and I lost a prospective client, but not before his tires were slashed, car keyed, and he acquired a bad case of road-rash after being chained and drug behind his car while I took a (quite literal) crash course in driving his truck.  I was never able to pay off the price for the excellent marketing team.  My father still gets on me about that even to this day.

I will consult with my marketing team with threats of docking pay, extensive hours to compensate for their fraud, and arson, and will be amending the price shortly.  Again, I can't thank you enough for catching such a tremendous oversight.  I'm tempted to extend you an offer to come work on the team since apparently they need someone as bright as you are to straighten up their act.  How does one raccoon a week sound for payment?

Delicious

Serously, it was no problem. In return, I appreciate you wanting to hire me to "straighten up" your team. Your offer of one raccon per week sounds great, which pains me to say that I must decline.

Due to the sudden attack from vikings in my neighboorhood, I am unable to part-take in work related to marketing, or anything for that matter. Infact, I am confined in a small (around 6x8) prison cell containing a laptop and two halfs of a toilet. I have been given strict rules against taking part in any sort of work, especially when the payment is raccoons. Please, don't worry about my well-being, they're taking care of us all fine. We are fed every few hours through a long straw that reaches far beyond my vision, however I am unable to determine what type of food they have been making us consume - it's quite filling though, and I must say very delicious.

Yet again, I appreciate the offer. I wish I could do more to help. I will contact you in 4 to 80 years when I am able to break free from this cell to see if work is still avaliable. Thank you.
<3

Scotty

Quote from: Delicious on March 26, 2011, 06:00:22 PM
Serously, it was no problem. In return, I appreciate you wanting to hire me to "straighten up" your team. Your offer of one raccon per week sounds great, which pains me to say that I must decline.

Due to the sudden attack from vikings in my neighboorhood, I am unable to part-take in work related to marketing, or anything for that matter. Infact, I am confined in a small (around 6x8) prison cell containing a laptop and two halfs of a toilet. I have been given strict rules against taking part in any sort of work, especially when the payment is raccoons. Please, don't worry about my well-being, they're taking care of us all fine. We are fed every few hours through a long straw that reaches far beyond my vision, however I am unable to determine what type of food they have been making us consume - it's quite filling though, and I must say very delicious.

Yet again, I appreciate the offer. I wish I could do more to help. I will contact you in 4 to 80 years when I am able to break free from this cell to see if work is still avaliable. Thank you.

My condolences towards your situation.  You see, since payments for my work have fallen to the way-side, I've had to liquidate all my companies assets in a last ditch effort to hire hit men with the intent of pursuing those who have taken work from me and not responded to my payment invoices, end goal being to retrieve the delinquent payments by any means necessary.  Unfortunately the unnamed individual was in your neighborhood.  Unknown to me, when I opted to spend $225k for the "deluxe rock-em sock-em" package at sonsabitcheshaditcoming.com, I again made a couple large oversights (no thanks to my superb marketing team).  For one, I expected men dressed in black sports coats and expensive oakley sun-glasses to do the dirty work, when in actuality, it was vikings, and also that instead of "deluxe rock-em sock-em" in the title of the package selection, it actually read "deluxe rape-em sedate-em".  I've been re-assured that they have a strict "You'll get your money within two weeks or them sonsabitches will pay" policy, and being that they were dispatched exactly twelve days ago, that your imprisonment is nearing its end, despite their threats of four to eighty years.

If you are able, please get in contact with me upon your release, as my offer still stands.

Delicious

I can understand why you'd hire hit men, who oddly were vikings, to raid my neighborhood due to unpaid work. It was just incredibly unfortunite for the unnamed indivisual happened to live near me, or all of this could have been avoided. I have been in this type of situation before, so I know how to cope with it and survive, so it's all fine on my end.

$225k is quite cheap for the "deluxe rape-em sedate-em" package, where'd you get it from? I've been looking forever and the best offer I was able to retrieve was around $500-$800k. Their work flow and effort is quite impressive, I must say. One of the vikings have been standing at my cell making rude gesters as well as poking me with a wooden dildo for the past 13 hours, he's a quite dedicated employee. I'll be sure to recommend them to anyone wanting to buy the package themselves.

I will definitely notify them about this accident, and I appreciate your time. I will also contact you upon my release, and look forward to working with you in the future.

Thank you.
<3

darkflash

Scotty you are a man of many words.