What would you do ?

[DR4N3]

I'm not stupid enough to have sex right now and neither is she

stupid enough to have sex right now

Out of all that was said, this sentence is what mind****s me the most.

I came across the idea of talking with the mom (the father doesn't care really) and I wouldn't know what to say lol. Honestly just the thought of looking them in the face again is scary |: thank you (:

Say you're sorry about what happened, promise it won't happen again, ask for honest forgiveness and walk away happy.
Things will probably heal with time, no loving mother or father can hold a grudge for too long.

As for your friends, you should ask what you did wrong. Maybe they have good reasons to be drifting away. Not trying to fix things will only make you feel worse.

[DarkTrinity]

Well, at the age he is and the rate of teen pregnancy right now, I'd say it better to wait. But that's from a female's perspective. And unless you're in a very comitted relationship, I woulnd trust a female who says she's on birth control. Or a girl that gets pregnant and says her birth control failed; no, she failed. You also dunno if they have diseases. So hey, I say waiting is a good thing.

[Titan]

This would take quite a bit of balls to do(imo), but you could always just sit down with her and her family and sincerely apologize to them. You should tell them how you honestly feel, and if you think its a good idea, ask them for a second chance afterwards. I think that apologizing in-front of her whole family would maybe show them how serious you are.

[God-I-Suck]

Well, at the age he is and the rate of teen pregnancy right now, I'd say it better to wait. But that's from a female's perspective. And unless you're in a very comitted relationship, I woulnd trust a female who says she's on birth control. Or a girl that gets pregnant and says her birth control failed; no, she failed. You also dunno if they have diseases. So hey, I say waiting is a good thing.

Not only that but I am respecting their culture and religion of sex after marriage, it's no bother to me really. We both agreed to it.

I came across the idea of talking with the mom (the father doesn't care really) and I wouldn't know what to say lol. Honestly just the thought of looking them in the face again is scary |: thank you (:

Say you're sorry about what happened, promise it won't happen again, ask for honest forgiveness and walk away happy.
Things will probably heal with time, no loving mother or father can hold a grudge for too long.

As for your friends, you should ask what you did wrong. Maybe they have good reasons to be drifting away. Not trying to fix things will only make you feel worse.

This would take quite a bit of balls to do(imo), but you could always just sit down with her and her family and sincerely apologize to them. You should tell them how you honestly feel, and if you think its a good idea, ask them for a second chance afterwards. I think that apologizing in-front of her whole family would maybe show them how serious you are.

Now that you guys have been bringing this up I have been giving it some thought.. Not everyone in their family knows about what happened, I would say about a third of them know. Although I am scared out of my mind to see them again I just want to set things straight, but is this the way I should do it? Haha I wish I had a really close parent friend I could talk to about this . I will definitely put this into deep thought... That's what I do best :p

Thank you guys for the advice.

[DR4N3]

Well, at the age he is and the rate of teen pregnancy right now, I'd say it better to wait. But that's from a female's perspective. And unless you're in a very comitted relationship, I woulnd trust a female who says she's on birth control. Or a girl that gets pregnant and says her birth control failed; no, she failed. You also dunno if they have diseases. So hey, I say waiting is a good thing.

Condoms.

I just want to set things straight

If you ever get scared for any reason, just remember this: Setting things straight. Wish you all the luck in the world bro, hope it all goes well for you.

[stick d00d]

Even if talking to them fails to change anything, at least you tried man. Then you will know if it's time to move on or not.

[havok]

Man your still
In school just keep trying if you have to I know it might be scary but go sit down with the parents and let them know how you fill I promise they will respect that I really do recommend trying that lol let me know how it goes

[DarkTrinity]

Well, at the age he is and the rate of teen pregnancy right now, I'd say it better to wait. But that's from a female's perspective. And unless you're in a very comitted relationship, I woulnd trust a female who says she's on birth control. Or a girl that gets pregnant and says her birth control failed; no, she failed. You also dunno if they have diseases. So hey, I say waiting is a good thing.

Condoms.

They can break. A lot of guys don't like wearing them.

[God-I-Suck]

If you ever get scared for any reason, just remember this: Setting things straight. Wish you all the luck in the world bro, hope it all goes well for you.

Even if talking to them fails to change anything, at least you tried man. Then you will know if it's time to move on or not.

Man your still
In school just keep trying if you have to I know it might be scary but go sit down with the parents and let them know how you fill I promise they will respect that I really do recommend trying that lol let me know how it goes

I am definitely considering this . Although it has been over month since the incident occurred I think it may be a good idea to apologize to the family . Thanks for the help guys (:

[Twinky]

Well, at the age he is and the rate of teen pregnancy right now, I'd say it better to wait. But that's from a female's perspective. And unless you're in a very comitted relationship, I woulnd trust a female who says she's on birth control. Or a girl that gets pregnant and says her birth control failed; no, she failed. You also dunno if they have diseases. So hey, I say waiting is a good thing.

Condoms.

They can break. A lot of guys don't like wearing them.

Awh yeah raw doggin' it  ;) ;) ;)

But in all seriousness, wear condoms guys, my girlfriend told me she didn't like when I used them and the next thing I know she goes on this two month lie about how she was pregnant, scary stuff.

[DarkTrinity]

Well, at the age he is and the rate of teen pregnancy right now, I'd say it better to wait. But that's from a female's perspective. And unless you're in a very comitted relationship, I woulnd trust a female who says she's on birth control. Or a girl that gets pregnant and says her birth control failed; no, she failed. You also dunno if they have diseases. So hey, I say waiting is a good thing.

Condoms.

They can break. A lot of guys don't like wearing them.

Awh yeah raw doggin' it  ;) ;) ;)

But in all seriousness, wear condoms guys, my girlfriend told me she didn't like when I used them and the next thing I know she goes on this two month lie about how she was pregnant, scary stuff.

Lol. Shoulda asked to see the pregnancy test!

[Twinky]

Well, at the age he is and the rate of teen pregnancy right now, I'd say it better to wait. But that's from a female's perspective. And unless you're in a very comitted relationship, I woulnd trust a female who says she's on birth control. Or a girl that gets pregnant and says her birth control failed; no, she failed. You also dunno if they have diseases. So hey, I say waiting is a good thing.

Condoms.

They can break. A lot of guys don't like wearing them.

Awh yeah raw doggin' it  ;) ;) ;)

But in all seriousness, wear condoms guys, my girlfriend told me she didn't like when I used them and the next thing I know she goes on this two month lie about how she was pregnant, scary stuff.

Lol. Shoulda asked to see the pregnancy test!

I know right, she said her dad's girlfriend was going to take her to a clinic on a day I wasn't at school, and when she was supposedly gone my friend texted me and told me she was there.

She isn't a very good liar, but if I ever tried to bring it up again, she'd turn the whole thing on me.

Its okay, I love her anyway.

Why am I so whipped.

DT save me </3

[Jackabomb]

I concur with those who have advised you to apologize and submit to the agreement her mother laid out for you. Given the amount of time that has passed and the relative non-severity of your crime, I suspect your fear and apprehension surrounding the incident is likely an emotional overreaction. Considering that she is your girlfriend, that's understandable, but if I'm right (and you're the only one who can know your own mental state for sure) it will help your thinking if you're aware of it. With regards to a sit-down apology session, I think it may be unnecessary, but I would ask for the opinion of your friend. He knows how his family thinks of you better than you do. Make no mistake, if you haven't already told her Mom you're willing to weather through the summer like she wants, you need to do that. Allow me to explain why.

From my understanding, the matter at hand is not so much something you've done or said, but that you broke a rule that you had both agreed on. From Mom's perspective it's gone something like this, I think:
Boy wants to date my daughter.
What is he like? Is he acceptable?Okay.
Does he share our values? Is he willing to put what is best for our daughter before his own temporary interests? He says so.
Is he willing to accept a rule set designed both to guard her and to prove his own interest in the same? Yes.

This is where the incident occurs.
He broke the rules. Is our daughter seriously hurt? No.
But he broke the rules. Yes he did.
The rules he agreed to follow to show us that he was willing to put our daughter first and prove his sincerity to her parents.
But I guess he didn't have the commitment to obey them. No, he didn't.
What else doesn't he have the commitment to stick with?
What other boundaries might he cross, in time?

Now we'll never know if I'm right about that or not because we don't have mind-reading, but if I am, that all happened pretty much subconsciously. Oh yeah, if her Mom says no contact, you probably shouldn't keep trying to contact her. The Mom will see it as proof against anything you tell her about being willing to wait. As was said before, actions speak louder than words. Especially where trust is concerned.

The good news is that if you can keep your cool and still navigate this out, your relationship with the girl and her family will be made the stronger and more resilient for it. Of course, if you find a better girl over the summer and dump her, it won't matter. I wouldn't recommend that.

[God-I-Suck]

Twinky you're funny lol

I concur with those who have advised you to apologize and submit to the agreement her mother laid out for you. Given the amount of time that has passed and the relative non-severity of your crime, I suspect your fear and apprehension surrounding the incident is likely an emotional overreaction. Considering that she is your girlfriend, that's understandable, but if I'm right (and you're the only one who can know your own mental state for sure) it will help your thinking if you're aware of it. With regards to a sit-down apology session, I think it may be unnecessary, but I would ask for the opinion of your friend. He knows how his family thinks of you better than you do. Make no mistake, if you haven't already told her Mom you're willing to weather through the summer like she wants, you need to do that. Allow me to explain why.

Jackabomb, you really got me contemplating my decision even further . I admire your advice and how you laid it out. You prove some good points and bring me intriguing ideas. First I want to say, her mother and I both know the severity of my crime. We feel that what I have done has destroyed many relationships. She even said herself, when she called me after she found what my girlfriend and I have been doing, that she cried. It made her cry because she thought I was different than other guys in terms of the sexual things. Yeah, I was pretty much a son to her and I betrayed her. After hearing that of course I broke into tears because something like that is forbidden to be heard. At that point I was scarred and didn't know what to do.. And neither do I now.

You hit the nail on the head with the Mom's perspective. Everything you said seems to be in her criteria. Also, while my girlfriend and I were still talking before her mom cut all communication - my girlfriend told me I should keep in touch with her mom and check in every once in a while. I don't know about you guys, but that just doesn't seem to be the right thing to do..? However, she does know her own mother more than anyone.. What do you guys think? One thing that still confuses me about this whole thing is her mom said to me right before she cut all communication was, "I hope to see you at the beginning of the school year." Or something along those lines. It seems to me she still has faith in me? How is this possible ?

The main reason why I want to apologize is not to be able to talk to my girlfriend again, but to give them a spiel as you will of how much they mean to me and I truly care about them. It may be late but I want to get this crap off of my chest. Part of me doesn't want to go all summer with no trace of me to be heard of from them - the other part does. I feel as if I don't talk to them, they will never forgive me in the future. One the other hand, spilling out my feelings for them could be the wrong move.. But how the heck will I know for sure ? /:

Thanks for your time Jackabomb , I really appreciate it !

[DR4N3]

Well, at the age he is and the rate of teen pregnancy right now, I'd say it better to wait. But that's from a female's perspective. And unless you're in a very comitted relationship, I woulnd trust a female who says she's on birth control. Or a girl that gets pregnant and says her birth control failed; no, she failed. You also dunno if they have diseases. So hey, I say waiting is a good thing.

Condoms.

They can break. A lot of guys don't like wearing them.

Very rarely. They should get over it. Or they can just go with self control. It's not that hard to hold it.
And in a stable realtionship, they could just go take a test to see if they got any diseases.
I'm all good with him wating and all, but saying having sex at that age is stupid sounds a like he doens't know much about protection and stuff.