some horror stories I've written

[TANK]

some are more nasty then others, ignore my bad grammar prease.

I was in my room yesterday and i felt the urge to look at myself. I noticed i couldn't see anything but my clothes when i looked out of my doorway and into the mirror in the office parallel to my room. I got up and the second I was in my doorway I slowly started to take form in my clothes from right to left. I was panicking for a bit until my mom convinced me I was just imagining things, gave me my usual pills, and sent me to bed. That night i noticed i couldn't see myself again in the mirror and when i walked up to my doorway i appeared from right to left again just a lot more slowly than before. I started to wonder if i was transitioning in and out of reality.

I calmed myself down, i was getting excited, i thought i was going to join another dimension or something. I looked at my mirror from my bed, I couldn't see most of my face, just the underside of the right part of my chin. I stood up and could see the bottom of the right side of my arms but nothing on the left, I was over excited, overwhelmed by my joy I yelled out. A few seconds after I did something giggled and my whole body appeared in the mirror almost instantly.
I spent all night trying to comprehend what happened, couldn't quite put my finger on the giggling but I eventually forgot about it. Today when i picked up my cactus and sat on my bed to admire it i noticed the cactus and most of me were missing from the reflection. It looked like the pot and my clothes were both floating in the air. I sat the cactus down on my bed, most of my body was visible now besides my arms positioning the cactus. I moved the cactus to the left, it appeared more in the reflection the more I pushed it, I pulled it back and it disappeared again. At first I wondered if maybe the cactus was looping in and out of reality too, but it was just too confusing to think about.

I opened up my laptop to play some games to calm my head and noticed half my face was missing in the black screens reflection, it was extremely unsettling to me for the first time. I looked over at my mirror and noticed the cactus sitting on my bed was back in the reflection, my face wasn't missing like it was on the screen either.It was then that i heard giggling right next to my face. It startled me in the kind of way you just freeze, I reached out in front of my face and felt something wet. I pulled my hands back and sat there as the missing part of my face filled back in on the screen .

____

I woke up and glanced around my room, eyes half open, wondering if the thing in my closet was still there. It was standing in the closet, headless, i could see its outline in the darkness.


I needed to crap and wiz so bad, i had been holding it in since i went to bed at around 11, and i noticed the monster around 12. I glanced over at the digital clock, it was 5 am. I knew if it realized i was awake it would come for me. I needed to let out a fart or it was going to turn into a shart, I tried to let it out as silently as possible. -SHRRRRPPPTTTT- it had become a shart, I had failed, I waited for death to come take me away.


Nothing happend, i began to wonder what the monster was thinking. It was hard to think though because the crap was beginning to re enter my stomach from holding it in. I regret ever eating that spoiled nacho cheese. Then it happend, I could feel it coming out of the closet to get me, i shut my eyes and prepared to die.

-SHRRRRPPPT plop SHRRRRRPPPT- I sharted and pood a bit, followed by another shart. I began to sob as i knew if he didnt know I was awake before, he definately did now. Then something strange happened, I heard him rustle further away from my bed, did my pooing please him? Did he think I was so sad he was going to let me live a little longer?

As I lie there i realized i had more urgent issues, another bowl movement. I clenched my cheeks to no avail,-FFFPPPPPPPP shrtp FPPPPPPPP- the hot poo oozed out my butt followed by a girl burp like fart followed by more poo. I cried, not only are my parents going to find me dead theres going to be poo all over. Then I heard the monster re enter the closet.

It was completely ass backwards and didn't make sense. Did the monster enjoy this, did he have some kind of fetish? i lie there for what seemed like forever, my bladder near to bursting i finally said something. "What do you want from me?" It jumped out of the closet and i clenched my eyes shut, it was hovering right next to my face i could tell. "D-d-don't"

Then I peed everywhere, the force of the pee actually lifted the front of my pants into the air for a couple seconds. I knew what it wanted, and the monster was appeased. I heard him return to the closet, satisfied. Meanwhile I was drenched in poop, piss, and fear.

I lie there, the smell unbearable, I soon drifted off to sleep in my own poo and wizz. I woke up, my mom was screaming asking me what happened, I sat up and looked at my closet and saw there was a vacuum in there. It hit me that after my mom cleaned my room earlier she must have stored it in my closet, could i have imagined the whole thing? As my mom lead me out of my room yelling something at me I was in a different world relieved and laughing at myself. Then i looked back at the mess i left and noticed something above my bed that made my heart sink.

Hold it in next time, Ricky? :) was written on the wall with my poo.

____

Yesterday afternoon I went into my brothers room to spend some time with him. He has extreme depression so I try to spend time with him whenever I get the chance to cheer him up. He was watching t.v in his bed (pretty much the only thing he can do) and when I sat down he just looked at me. He doesn't talk much usually but he was acting really different and not responding to anything I said.

I went to leave the room because i thought maybe he wanted to be alone when he said "wait, come see me tonight, ill need something". Him saying that was so odd it hit me off guard, I didn't even give it a response, he always tries to act like he doesn't need anything from anyone.

So the beginning of that night was normal enough, I was just watching t.v, when I heard giggling coming from my brothers room. I remembered his request so I walked over to his room trying to be as quiet a possible. I don't know why I was trying to be quiet, i think it was because a part of me knew something was wrong. I peeked through his door and noticed he wasn't on his bed. I was about to go check to see if he had fallen off the bed somehow when saw him standing in the far corner of the room.

His arms and legs were flying around, he looked like he was some kind of puppet being flung about by some unknown force. The way his limbs were bending looked very awkward, if he wasn't paralyzed from a C4 spine injury it still would be impossible for him to twist like that. Through the t.vs light i could see his face and he looked completely out of it, his eyes were wide open and he had a huge smile on his face. He was giggling too, which was the most unsettling part.

I crept away from his door and into my room and locked it. Almost right after I did I heard something walk up to my door and then walk back into my brothers room. I sat up all night listening, picturing different scenarios that might have happened if he had noticed me at his door.

It wasn't until today when I left my room in daylight and saw my parents were still alive that i went to check on my brother again. I peeked through his door like I did last night, he was back in his bed like normal. I went to walk away when he said "why didn't you come see me last night". I replied trying to sound normal that i had just forgot and fallen asleep and he just told me "no you didn't". I never thought it could be possible to be so terrified of my little brother. I returned to my room and locked the door.

Tonight I've been wondering if some kind of miracle happened. Was he going to show me he could move as a surprise? I don't know, the way he was twisting his limbs was too odd, he would have been in pain if he could feel them. So many questions run through my head as I hear him giggle in the next room, I wont be getting much sleep.
_________

tell me what you think, also feel free to share your own short stories.

[Matty_Richo]

If I'm being honest, the lack of decent grammar absolutely ruined it, seriously, everyone knows that the work 'I' needs a capital letter. Other than that, I found the wording to be awkward and the language very unengaging.

As for the stories themselves, they seemed terribly immature (especially the second one) and rather boring in my opinion.

But despite that, I must congratulate you and actually using paragraphs, too many people don't use them at all and I refuse to read a large wall of text.

[TANK]

The second one was a joke about over descriptive storys, and poo. I think it ruins stories most of the time, atleast for me, but to each their own. I'd like to know whats immature about the other two though. Ill go cap my Is aswell if it really contributed to ruining the stories for you...

[Matty_Richo]

Descriptiveness is good, it paints a picture in the mind of the reader and helps to immerse them into the story.

They just seemed very shallow, the lack of descriptiveness was a big part in that.
I, personally, am not much of a writer, and I've never even attempted writing a horror story, but I attempted to rewrite the first sentence of the first story for you:

I lay uncomfortably in my bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. I had the sudden urge to look at myself, I don't know why, I just had a niggling feeling that something wasn't right.

You need to make the reader want to keep reading.As I said, I'm not much of a writer, but that's along the right lines of how it should start.

[Hikarikuen]

Then who was phone?

[TANK]

ill try being more descriptive, heres somethin off the top my head.

It was an average evening, I was on the internet curling my toes as i read some guys terrible horror stories. "I'll poke at him a bit" I thought to myself. "Who...was....phone" my fingers moved elegantly from key to key, it felt right, it felt like this response was destine to happen. I spent the rest of my night browsing through dog pictures on google images before I eventually fell asleep. I had a demented dream, I was surrounded by a thousand closets, walking down a long hallway trying to find a way out. Each door had distinct pictures on it. I found a door with a weaner dog on it, could this be my door? I opened it and a skeleton popped out, I wasn't startled though, it felt like it was destine to happen. I woke up slightly sweating, I had a feeling like I was being watched. My eyes darted around the room, they met with the eyes of a yorkie on my laptop. Relieved, I closed out google images, dogs always help me get my mind off troubling things. I curled up trying to get comfortable when i realized i was thirsty as hell. I walked into the kitchen to get something to drink and I noticed my mom was sitting in the kitchen chair. She had no face, one of her eyes was missing from the socket, I laughed as remembered I left her out from this afternoon. "What are you doing out here boney buns" I said, she used to call me bunny buns, of course she didn't get my joke. I took her by the arm and dragged her back over to the closet and proped her up with my dad, and then the irony of the dream with the skeleton in the closet hit me. I laughed at the whole situation, then let out a sigh. If only they had gotten me a dog for my birthday, I was so sure it was destine to happen.

More descriptive? I tried to make it easier to picture this time.

[DarkTrinity]

The second one was a joke about over descriptive storys, and poo. I think it ruins stories most of the time, atleast for me, but to each their own. I'd like to know whats immature about the other two though. Ill go cap my Is aswell if it really contributed to ruining the stories for you...

Well yes and no. Many have complained about the hobbit/LotR series being way over descriptive, and yea, I tend to agree. Yet they are still considered some of the greatest stories of all time.
I think the biggest problem with your second story(besides that it's disgusting) is the repetitiveness and the use of the words "poo, wiz, shart, crap" in general. I don't think I have ever seen a published book with those words in it, and if they have, it's been once in the entire book, you used them like 15 times in just a few paragraphs. Even writers use thesauruses. I think your play on being the opposite of over descriptive stories failed, because it just made you sound like a 12 year old who likes poo.
I think it's going to be a little hard to beat the ultimate short, non-descriptive horror story....

The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door

That being said though, I don't think you should give up writing as doing it more will only help you improve. Also reading a lot of books helps your writing too. Creative outlets are a good thing.