Well i did this yesterday and realized life sucks and i wanted to try something new and doing this has felt good, relieves stress. I was also sad that its the one time this year that its my birthday; today and nothing even special happens for me, all through middle and high school I've been a loner and picked on, forgotten, stepped on. Oh well
(http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj99/picnum/Personal%20photos/DSCN0531_zps0a4efe25.jpg)
There's a lot of rotten people in the world. Try not to let them make you think those things. And remember there is also good people in this world. You just may not have found them yet.
Please, Forum, find a therapist. I assure you they will be able to let you find ways of achieving happiness without causing permanent damage to yourself (not just your body, but also your mind). We've all known you for over 5 years, and we care about everyone here. Please ask for help from a school counselor, or somebody you loves you and wants to help, and schedule some time with a therapist.
The goodness caused by pain is artificial. I am not going to try to argue with you about this, but its only your mind playing tricks on you. If you convince yourself that cutting your arm will make you feel better, your mind will make you think this.
So please find somebody to talk to.
Hey buddy,
Do you want to talk? I'm not sure if cutting is necessarily suicidal attempts or to re-leave stress, but regardless you are depressed. You're at a very difficult age in life, I would know, but consider your future. Try to make each day meaningful, socialize and create friends.
You need to thicken your skin to survive in this world. Don't be so sensitive, keep your chin up. There are always people who care for you.
I am open to talking if you wish.
The two posts above me have said it better than I ever could.
Also, remember what happened to Seifer and how much grief it caused in the forums. People do care about you.
Quote from: 11clock on January 22, 2013, 07:23:50 PM
The two posts above me have said it better than I ever could.
Also, remember what happened to Seifer and how much grief it caused in the forums. People do care about you.
This. I think that experience shows that even people you don't expect to care, really do care. And I can also tell you from personal experience (I've had 6 classmates who have taken their own life) that a lot of people care, a lot of people are willing to help if you only let them. 3 of my own close friends used to cut themselves also, and all have kicked that habit and are all honestly much happier with where they are now in life. High school and middle school suck, I'm completely with you on that. The thing is high school isn't even the beginning of your life, it's not even half your life. There's just so much left in store afterwards that high school becomes pretty much meaningless.
There are far better ways to relieve stress. Pretty much anything creative will make you feel better. Drawing/music/painting/writing/etc. You can let out your emotions through such things. Another good stress reliever is exercise, even just going for a walk.
Please, for the sake of everyone, do find help. Talk to a counselor, parents, friends, forum members, heck I'm sure there's even a confidential hotline you could call.
All cutting does is leave scars on your body that remind you of the bad times, it doesn't help. Ive got scars on my arm and I regret it all the time, it takes me from my good moods and to a bad one remembering what happened. So in conclusion you shouldn't even think about cutting so put the knife or whatever down and just quit
I can assure you that you are not alone out there. I remember, probably when I was about your age, I have done and thought the same things. It gets better. Life gets so, so much better. It just takes time, and effort, and it's really tough but you get through these difficult times. And even if it seems like no one likes or cares about you now, you will get past that and you will have people that care about you.
One thing that helped me was hearing that some of my negative thoughts might just be in my head. I used to always think that if I walked by someone and they looked at me that they thought I looked weird or stupid or whatever. I had no reason to think this, it was just something that I thought. At some point I tried thinking that if someone looked at me it was because they thought I looked awesome. Obviously it's just a small trick, and I never really totally convinced myself, but it somewhat balanced itself out and I really just stopped worrying about what someone thought as they passed me in the hall.
Now, your situation might be different, and that's fine. But try to keep in mind that sometimes people's actions, or your perception of them, don't always reflect their true thoughts or feelings. Give people the benefit of the doubt and put yourself out there. Try doing nice things for people and acting friendly towards them. Forget about whether they might like you or not and just do it for yourself.
And by the way, don't think of therapy as a negative thing. I've had plenty of it and I think a lot of it has helped. And if money is an issue there are cheaper options. In fact, I started out in high school going to a counseling service that provided financial assistance. Essentially you paid what you could afford based on your income. And that got me through a lot at that time. So definitely consider it. Seek out help from your family. Even if your parents don't seem like they care, they do.
The world is a cruel place man. Keep your head up, it will get better. School sucked for me too. I didn't have a lot of friends and the ones I did have I ended up losing because I was always up and down. One day I would be really happy and the next I would be the complete opposite. Mostly differences with my parents and arguments/fights at home really kept me down most of my life. Don't let people get to you to this point. Seriously life is too short to be upset all the time. Find things you really enjoy to get your mind off of stuff. I know me and you never really got along in-game (though I have never met you personally so this really doesn't matter) I'm sure you're a good guy just going through the ups and downs of life. It happens to everyone, but what you gotta do is be better than the people who put you down and just be yourself and basically just say to yourself things will get better. If you need to talk to someone just PM me. Also talk to your parents/family and maybe a school counseler, trust me this will help.
Oh and Happy Birthday dude. :)
One of my friends just posted this a little bit ago.
http://www.cracked.com/article_20204_5-psychology-studies-every-awkward-teenager-should-read.html
That was actually really awseome. The last one (#1. People Care Far Less About Your Screw-Ups Than You Think They Do) was particularly helpfull. Essentially: Don't worry too much about what other people think about you; they're too busy worrying what other people think about themselves to care about what you're doing. The spotlight analogy is great. If you imagine everyone else with their own spotlight, your spotlight doesn't seem quite as bright.
I sort of wish that image was not there anymore. But yes. If its safe to stop caring about the things that are hurting you than do so. But only if its safe as it it will not cause you harm later. If its something like if you think other people are thinking about you than just stop caring. Or go out and see and do things that you dont do normally. A change in environment can have a dramatic effect on how you feel.
Please don't do that, it's terrible. Things may be hard right now, but we have already lost one person in this community, and you saw how it tore everyone apart. Seriously, talk to someone. No one will be mad, I promise.
Life is tough, and sometimes you get kicked while you're down, but we're here for you. It takes true sadness to understand true happiness. You'll get there, you just gotta keep your head held high.
most problems in life are the cause of high expectations. you expected something flashy on your birthday and didn't get it. you seem to expect life to not stop being shit or something...
you have to work your way towards glory. instead of cutting yourself to relieve stress you could lift weights or read some books by the great Orwell or Hemingway. there are always better options than the endorphin boost brought about by self harm.
I'd just like to add a different view point. While I agree with what everyone else is saying, what you're doing also has an effect on your friends and family. Even if it seems like they don't care, well, they do. And every time they see those scars it will hurt them. I don't really know how to describe it, but if you care about your family and friends then that's not something you want to wish on them. That's why I personally feel like cutting, as well as suicide, are an extremely selfish thing to do. You take the the route that makes you feel good (or the easy way out) at the expense of the people who care about you. I realize that it's a lot more complicated than you doing it to just hurt them, but just something to consider.
Hello.
This is coming from personal experience, I used to cut myself, now i'm getting tattoo's to cover them up. I understand when you say it feels good and 'helps' but it really doesn't. At the time yeah, you do feel better but the more you do it, the worse it will get. It may feels good or makes things better a few mins/hours, or even days afterwards but from my experience, I ending up doing it more an more, just to get the same effect. After doing it for about a year I found myself in a very dark and lonely place. I never used to have many freinds or talk to anyone for that matter but thats how I liked it. I used to spend my school days sitting on my own, drawing all day. I find that if you have a hobbie or something you enjoy doing, if its by yourself or with your friends/family, it really helps take your mind of things and gets you focused on the things you enjoy.
Even today I still feel like doing it and I strongly believe it has become an addiction but when that feeling comes, I put on some music and sit down to draw.
If there's anything you need or want to ask something just PM me. Even though I don't really know you like many of the Forum members, I'd be happy to talk to you and help you in anyway I could.
Look after youeself and take care.
i know people can be very cruel in this world but that doesnt mean that you should be cruel to yourself. ive encountered a good number of people in my life that have treated me poorly. you should try to find an outlet that makes you feel good or good about your self. maybe its exercising, maybe its reading books, drawing or hell just getting a punching bag and just welling on it. one of the reasons i started doing stuff for stick online is because at that time i had gotten out of high school and i couldnt find a job, i didnt really have any friends, i didnt even have a car, and i was living with my dad. i felt worthless and a bum, even though i didnt make money off of doing art for so it gave me meaning it made me feel like i wasnt worthless and a bum and gave me a little bit of hope for the future. it took me 4 years of putting in job applications, quitting jobs, to finally find a job i could do and keep. since getting that job i have found within myself a far greater since of self-worth and self confidence, although still not enough to ask out a girl. it takes time,determination,patience and hope. try not to loose hope man, things will get better, it just might take alittle while.
The last time Forum was active/online was about 30 minutes after he posted this. Has anyone heard from him? :/
Quote from: Freeforall on January 27, 2013, 09:22:37 PM
The last time Forum was active/online was about 30 minutes after he posted this. Has anyone heard from him? :/
(http://i.imgur.com/wFjxsE1.jp)
i really hope hes ok. pls post forum just to let us know you are ok. even if it is nothing more then posting the word "here"
I have been thinking the same thing since last week. I sent him a PM but haven't gotten a response. Anyone have another means of contacting him besides this forum?
I think we're all a bit traumatized, and rightly so... But I wouldn't jump to the worst conclusions just yet. It's very possible that some people don't check these forums all that often.
I'm sorry for even bringing that up, it's way too soon to jump to a conclusion. It just really scares me...
I will try to find another way to contact him.
Forum, if you do get online and you read this, PLEASE don't do anything to harm yourself again. A lot of us on here have gone through the same thing in the past, as have I. There are so many things to do in life, so many things you would not believe. When you get older, the things that kids said in school will have absolutely no impact on your life.
You saw with your own eyes what the passing of Seifer did to the community. It literally tore it apart, and that event will never be forgotten. It's a terrible thing, and I'm not going to sit back and let it happen again. Please post something soon, Forum.
EDIT: I sent a message directly to his email account, hopefully I'll get a response, or at least a (seen) confirmation.
Middle/High schoolers can be vicious. That phase of life is often the worst for many people. Trust me, things are absolutely destined to get significantly better. It's also no joke that there is a noticeable trend with people who are jerks in that phase of life often ending up less happy down the road. People who naturally treat others like crap often end up engraining that kind of behavior as their default way of dealing with people, while everyone else grows up enough to realize what a fool/douche they are for acting that way.
Whether you realize it or not, I know there are many people here (myself included) who have always thought of you as a welcome member of this community. A lot of people here I'm sure would gladly have your back if you ever felt you needed a hand. If you want to talk or anything feel free to PM me and I can give you my IM/skype info, just let me know.
Also, to the rest of the community. Based on the forum logs it doesn't seem like forum always visits super frequently.
Okay, really, this is getting a bit scary to me. How long has it been since he has posted?
Quote from: Freeforall on February 10, 2013, 04:08:52 AM
Okay, really, this is getting a bit scary to me. How long has it been since he has posted?
this forum is virtually dead so he probably coms back every couple of weeks like i do.
Thanks for the support and help guys, it means a a lot. I' ve been halting cutting for a while but don't know for how long for i want to try it again. Some of what i first said still holds true, but hopefully with track season coming up i can see some improvement, and yeah when i get a chance i will chat with some of you if you want too.
I haven't seen this mentioned for a while, so I'll post this
I spent a good portion of my life, longer than I wish I had, hoping things would get better. Eventually, I forgot what happy was, and at the time, I thought my brief period of being slightly less miserable was things going away, but it wasn't. I'm finally better now because of anti-depressants. Sometimes meds help. It's something to consider that worked very well for me. First time in three years I feel happy.
Quote from: Specialboy on February 23, 2013, 11:56:04 PM
I haven't seen this mentioned for a while, so I'll post this
I spent a good portion of my life, longer than I wish I had, hoping things would get better. Eventually, I forgot what happy was, and at the time, I thought my brief period of being slightly less miserable was things going away, but it wasn't. I'm finally better now because of anti-depressants. Sometimes meds help. It's something to consider that worked very well for me. First time in three years I feel happy.
Meds help greatly, but you don't want to be soley reliant on them for happyness. The happyness they give you is artificial. Having to rely on anti-depressants for happyness is actually quite sad. I suggest talking to someone.
Quote from: 11clock on February 24, 2013, 08:59:15 AM
Quote from: Specialboy on February 23, 2013, 11:56:04 PM
I haven't seen this mentioned for a while, so I'll post this
I spent a good portion of my life, longer than I wish I had, hoping things would get better. Eventually, I forgot what happy was, and at the time, I thought my brief period of being slightly less miserable was things going away, but it wasn't. I'm finally better now because of anti-depressants. Sometimes meds help. It's something to consider that worked very well for me. First time in three years I feel happy.
Meds help greatly, but you don't want to be soley reliant on them for happyness. The happyness they give you is artificial. Having to rely on anti-depressants for happyness is actually quite sad. I suggest talking to someone.
That's not really fair. Depression is a disease like any other. You wouldn't tell someone with a heart condition that it's "actually quite sad" that they have to take a medication to live. Certainly, you should be seeing a therapist on a regular basis if you have depression, but therapy alone does not work for some people. They need anti-depressants so that the chemical make-up of their brain allows them to be happy.
I think that's a huge problem with society right now. People think of depression as some sort of social awkwardness instead of an actual medical problem. Some people do in fact need medication to actually feel happy, happiness isn't just an emotion, like Lingus said it's something that is physically going on in your brain.
And I'm sure that's part of the reason people with depression don't seek out medical help, because they don't want to be the "weird kid" on anti-depressants.
Quote from: Lingus on April 17, 2013, 05:26:54 PM
Quote from: 11clock on February 24, 2013, 08:59:15 AM
Quote from: Specialboy on February 23, 2013, 11:56:04 PM
I haven't seen this mentioned for a while, so I'll post this
I spent a good portion of my life, longer than I wish I had, hoping things would get better. Eventually, I forgot what happy was, and at the time, I thought my brief period of being slightly less miserable was things going away, but it wasn't. I'm finally better now because of anti-depressants. Sometimes meds help. It's something to consider that worked very well for me. First time in three years I feel happy.
Meds help greatly, but you don't want to be soley reliant on them for happyness. The happyness they give you is artificial. Having to rely on anti-depressants for happyness is actually quite sad. I suggest talking to someone.
That's not really fair. Depression is a disease like any other. You wouldn't tell someone with a heart condition that it's "actually quite sad" that they have to take a medication to live. Certainly, you should be seeing a therapist on a regular basis if you have depression, but therapy alone does not work for some people. They need anti-depressants so that the chemical make-up of their brain allows them to be happy.
I agree in the downplaying of depression. I'm not qualified to speak from a medical standpoint, or even have first-hand experience of the effects, but from dating a very successful, qualified and passionate psychiatrist (yeah laugh it up, my grandmother put it best saying "Good, finally someone might be able to figure that kid out"), medications for mental illness can be wildly successful if prescribed correctly. We're on the tail end of a society that still may not want to grasp the full spectrum of mental illness because modern medicine still doesn't understand how the brain entirely works. Hell, the chief of medicine at one of the nation's most prestigious medical schools (Johns Hopkins, where my girlfriend works) doesn't believe in PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), as one example of how ignorant and stubborn we can be.
As I said, I'm not nearly qualified to play the role of doctor for this sort of stuff, but I would absolutely suggest going to a mood-clinic and speaking with a psychiatrist. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting a prescription from a psychiatrist who is perfectly qualified to diagnose depression. The media's portrayal of us living in a pill-popping society for mental illness is about as ignorant and obtuse as it is false with regards to doctors blindly prescribing "happy pills" as a catch-all fail-safe.
Arguing the opposition here, as somebody who in my youth was prescribed many serotonin level altering medicines and other antidepressants and ADHD medications.... I would like to throw this out there. Like many of you above me I acknowledge medicine for these conditions does really work, no doubt about it. If you are lacking certain chemicals you need in your brain to be in a good mood, it logically makes sense they would work. HOWEVER, after having taken many drugs to help me handle various issues, some problems were fixed and other worse ones arose. I am actually strongly opposed to virtually all medications that aren't antibiotics, and hate the concept of mood altering drugs. I think it is much better for the person in need to talk to people and learn to self-manage their condition. I realize it may vary on a person-to-person basis, but I strongly believe that 9 times out of 10, you will become a stronger and happier of a person if you can learn to manage without medications. The medications improved my mood and behavior to an extent I suppose, but it changed how I viewed myself for the worse, I felt dependent... weak and unhealthy. Many doctors (and possibly your parents) will now as a first resort pressure you into medication as a first and easy solution. You really need to take a step back and make a strong judgement call for yourself, and realize that even if you have a condition that can be treated with medication, it isn't necessarily (and in my opinion rarely) the best thing you can do for yourself.
Quote from: Mr Pwnage on April 18, 2013, 04:23:51 PM
Arguing the opposition here, as somebody who in my youth was prescribed many serotonin level altering medicines and other antidepressants and ADHD medications.... I would like to throw this out there. Like many of you above me I acknowledge medicine for these conditions does really work, no doubt about it. If you are lacking certain chemicals you need in your brain to be in a good mood, it logically makes sense they would work. HOWEVER, after having taken many drugs to help me handle various issues, some problems were fixed and other worse ones arose. I am actually strongly opposed to virtually all medications that aren't antibiotics, and hate the concept of mood altering drugs. I think it is much better for the person in need to talk to people and learn to self-manage their condition. I realize it may vary on a person-to-person basis, but I strongly believe that 9 times out of 10, you will become a stronger and happier of a person if you can learn to manage without medications. The medications improved my mood and behavior to an extent I suppose, but it changed how I viewed myself for the worse, I felt dependent... weak and unhealthy. Many doctors (and possibly your parents) will now as a first resort pressure you into medication as a first and easy solution. You really need to take a step back and make a strong judgement call for yourself, and realize that even if you have a condition that can be treated with medication, it isn't necessarily (and in my opinion rarely) the best thing you can do for yourself.
I somewhat agree with this. I've been on a few anti-depressants throughout my life, and have not had a very positive experience with any of them. If you look at statistics on their effectiveness, they're not much better than a placebo.
EDIT: Just wanted to point that I do believe anti-depressants can be very helpful, especially in situations where someone is struggling with severe depression and/or anxiety. It's important to note that their effectiveness has a huge variance from person to person, and that they don't always make things better. My personal stance is that if you are suffering from minor depression or anxiety, jumping on meds isn't always the best tactic. Sometimes a change in diet and lifestyle can go a long way. For example, stop eating so much sugar and simple carbs like white wheats. They cause the the bodies blood sugar to spike, and in turn, force your pancreas to create an over abundance of insulin which can alter your mood. You'd be surprised at the amount of people that have sugar and wheat sensitivity's and don't even know it. If you are indeed struggling with a chemical imbalance, anti-depressants could very well be the answer to your problems, but they aren't the only answer. Just me two cents.
i just wait it out when i get depressed.
i'm sort've afraid one day it won't just fade away.
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.
Quote from: Lucifer on May 01, 2013, 10:02:53 AM
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.
This always works.
In all seriousness, I highly recommend reading this.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html
Quote from: Lucifer on May 13, 2013, 11:57:07 AM
In all seriousness, I highly recommend reading this.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html
Oh thank god, she's alive. She hadn't updated in over a year, and when her last post was about "Adventures in Depression", it tends to make one worried... Glad to hear she's overcoming it. :)
I found this website http://www.why-we-dream.com/depression.htm and it is quite interesting.
Do what you like to do and meet people, and you'll feel better :)