Relationship Advice

[Torch]

So I'm unhappy in my current relationship. I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 11 months at this point. She's a year younger than me and we were both in high school when we started dating. Now I'm in first-year university, 3 hours from her.

I'm unhappy for a number of reasons. First, she is incredibly paranoid about me being interested in other girls or losing interest in her, constantly worrying about these things. Second, I don't want to have to answer to someone when I go about my day. I want to be able to do whatever unproductive activity I want without stopping to text/call her because I "have time", at this point I've resorted to lying to her and telling her I'm doing homework or studying. Third, I want to hook up with other girls, selfish as that may be. Finally, she continually talks about really long-term commitments and actually brings up marriage and kids, it scares me.

I really did love her at a point but I can honestly say I don't feel the same way anymore. She's still crazy in love with me and I feel like if I end this relationship she will be self-destructive and rebound to other guys or stop trying in school (she's applying to universities this year) or just lose motivation altogether. It's really concerning and I can't bring myself to do that to to her, she might even be suicidal.

Any advice you guys can give me?

[Yankyal]

So I'm unhappy in my current relationship. I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 11 months at this point. She's a year younger than me and we were both in high school when we started dating. Now I'm in first-year university, 3 hours from her.

I'm unhappy for a number of reasons. First, she is incredibly paranoid about me being interested in other girls or losing interest in her, constantly worrying about these things. Second, I don't want to have to answer to someone when I go about my day. I want to be able to do whatever unproductive activity I want without stopping to text/call her because I "have time", at this point I've resorted to lying to her and telling her I'm doing homework or studying. Third, I want to hook up with other girls, selfish as that may be. Finally, she continually talks about really long-term commitments and actually brings up marriage and kids, it scares me.

I really did love her at a point but I can honestly say I don't feel the same way anymore. She's still crazy in love with me and I feel like if I end this relationship she will be self-destructive and rebound to other guys or stop trying in school (she's applying to universities this year) or just lose motivation altogether. It's really concerning and I can't bring myself to do that to to her, she might even be suicidal.

Any advice you guys can give me?

Reasons to GTFO of this relationshit:
1.Long Distance
2.Trust Issues
3.It's your first !@#$ing year of uni, don't get tied down this early bro.
4.You yourself are unhappy
5.She's clingy
6.All those sorority girls...

You're still young and it would be silly to commit now! And she's probably thinking about other guys too anyways. Man up and end it cleanly. And don't refrain from it because she might threaten suicide, most of the time it's a tactic to keep you in a relationship you both know is over.

[DarkTrinity]

First off, the fact that you want to hook up with girls will probably be your biggest downfall if you don't end it with her now. I mean yea, you could get over that urge eventually... But then you could end up drunk at a party making out with a girl instead, which would probably break her heart even more. Or she'll say "I knew you were interested in other girls!!" and just rub it in your face that she was right.
Secondly, staying in the relationship because you want to spare her feelings isn't a good plan. Prolonging it will just make things worse especially if you're not seeing her often and your feelings for each other deteriorate, at 1 year 6 months, it could get better, but by the way you're describing it, it'll probably only get worse. Also, yes, I know high school girls can get super emotional and act all crazy(personal experience ;D) but it's also not the end of the world, 11 months is a decent amount of time, but not that long. If she does act suicidal, you just have to remember it's not actually your fault. She either just wants attention, or she's been depressed all the while you've been dating and it's something she needs to deal with, not you.

My suggestion I guess would be that you should talk to her about seeing other people, because the long distance is putting too much emotional stress on your life and is making concentrating on school difficult. (not to mention the constant nagging that she's practically expecting you to cheat on her).
Idk what her plans are for college, but what if she goes somewhere else and you live even farther away from each other? I guess unless she's actually planning on going to the same school as you next year, long distance will be a factor through both your college years.
It just sounds like you're not ready for a lifetime commitment and she is... Which isn't a bad thing, you just started college after all... (talking about kids/marriage isn't that weird unless she's going into detail about kids names, how many she wants, who's gonna be at her wedding, what kind of wedding she wants, etc. If she's just asking if you want kids sometime in life, that sounds normal to me)

[Magebolt]

Ok man, Look i just whent through this exact same relationship and she did get suicidal with me to the point were her family got angry at her. The thing is Dark Trinity and Yank are comepletely right your only young ofcourse your going to want all these things and well she is only further distract your studies. Trust me i know  my ex would make me come over all the time! Plus want to talk to me, when i didn't even want to... So my advice is exactly the same get rid of it and live your life man. You still have so many years ahead of you to have a long relationship! Plus you should be partying and living it up right now not being like this! Just end it and live the good life for now man! Enjoy.

[Torch]

Thanks for the advice guys, I was talking to her tonight and I kind of just let it out. I broke up with her and it went horribly, she was bawling, begging me to take it back, telling me it can still work, saying she hates me, saying she hates herself. It was awful and I feel terrible about it. I know she feels worse though, we were really close and it breaks my heart but I know things will get better from here for both of us, I couldn't give her the attention she needs. I'll call her in a few days and check up on her.

[DarkTrinity]

Thanks for the advice guys, I was talking to her tonight and I kind of just let it out. I broke up with her and it went horribly, she was bawling, begging me to take it back, telling me it can still work, saying she hates me, saying she hates herself. It was awful and I feel terrible about it. I know she feels worse though, we were really close and it breaks my heart but I know things will get better from here for both of us, I couldn't give her the attention she needs. I'll call her in a few days and check up on her.

Well I just hope she has some good solid female friends who will help her out. :/

[Yankyal]

Thanks for the advice guys, I was talking to her tonight and I kind of just let it out. I broke up with her and it went horribly, she was bawling, begging me to take it back, telling me it can still work, saying she hates me, saying she hates herself. It was awful and I feel terrible about it. I know she feels worse though, we were really close and it breaks my heart but I know things will get better from here for both of us, I couldn't give her the attention she needs. I'll call her in a few days and check up on her.

You're saving yourselves both a lot of pain in the end.

[Jake]

Thanks for the advice guys, I was talking to her tonight and I kind of just let it out. I broke up with her and it went horribly, she was bawling, begging me to take it back, telling me it can still work, saying she hates me, saying she hates herself. It was awful and I feel terrible about it. I know she feels worse though, we were really close and it breaks my heart but I know things will get better from here for both of us, I couldn't give her the attention she needs. I'll call her in a few days and check up on her.

This sounds weird but... Don't call her yet. Maybe this is bad advice, but I've found that when a couple breaks up for real, they need space to cope with the separation. You calling her gives her hope, in which case it'd be like giving alcohol to a recovering an alcoholic, and then she has to restart the healing process. I remember I had a girlfriend that broke up with me, and then would still text me like nothing happened from time to time, and it was very painful. I received false signals that she was still in to me, and it pulled at my heart strings when I thought I was finally getting over her. I guess it's ok to call her, but make sure she knows that you're not changing your mind? it's actually better for her to know there's no hope of getting back together, rather than a since of false hope, in which case she can't start the grieving process.

[DarkTrinity]

Thanks for the advice guys, I was talking to her tonight and I kind of just let it out. I broke up with her and it went horribly, she was bawling, begging me to take it back, telling me it can still work, saying she hates me, saying she hates herself. It was awful and I feel terrible about it. I know she feels worse though, we were really close and it breaks my heart but I know things will get better from here for both of us, I couldn't give her the attention she needs. I'll call her in a few days and check up on her.

This sounds weird but... Don't call her yet. Maybe this is bad advice, but I've found that when a couple breaks up for real, they need space to cope with the separation. You calling her gives her hope, in which case it'd be like giving alcohol to a recovering an alcoholic, and then she has to restart the healing process. I remember I had a girlfriend that broke up with me, and then would still text me like nothing happened from time to time, and it was very painful. I received false signals that she was still in to me, and it pulled at my heart strings when I thought I was finally getting over her. I guess it's ok to call her, but make sure she knows that you're not changing your mind? it's actually better for her to know there's no hope of getting back together, rather than a since of false hope, in which case she can't start the grieving process.

Yes. I second this.
Also, she may just not even want to talk to you, she could be angry still. In which case an argument would make things worse.