If Twilight 4 Was 10 Times Shorter and 100 Times More Honest

[Scotty]

For the men out there that were unfortunate enough to be drug along with their dependent and emotionally unsatisfied girlfriend who finds that nothing completes her fantasies more than sympathizing for a blank template teenager who's single role in a film is to simply play dumb and allow men to do all the thinking for her by duking it out with each other, tearing off their shirts or shitting sparkles, I apologize on behalf of cracked for not presenting this to you sooner in the hopes that it may have saved you from sitting through hours of bad acting, writing, screen play, and a trip to a theater where the only reason you are there is because (unknown to you), she is trying to get you realize that she also wants equal dramatic conflict in her life, where you fight it out with another dude to convince her that bestiality is better than necrophilia.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19582_if-twilight-4-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html

[Yankyal]

For the men out there that were unfortunate enough to be drug along with their dependent and emotionally unsatisfied girlfriend who finds that nothing completes her fantasies more than sympathizing for a blank template teenager who's single role in a film is to simply play dumb and allow men to do all the thinking for her by duking it out with each other, tearing off their shirts or shitting sparkles, I apologize on behalf of cracked for not presenting this to you sooner in the hopes that it may have saved you from sitting through hours of bad acting, writing, screen play, and a trip to a theater where the only reason you are there is because (unknown to you), she is trying to get you realize that she also wants equal dramatic conflict in her life, where you fight it out with another dude to convince her that bestiality is better than necrophilia.

Your sentence was longer than Dudley Wayne's!

[Scotty]

For the men out there that were unfortunate enough to be drug along with their dependent and emotionally unsatisfied girlfriend who finds that nothing completes her fantasies more than sympathizing for a blank template teenager who's single role in a film is to simply play dumb and allow men to do all the thinking for her by duking it out with each other, tearing off their shirts or shitting sparkles, I apologize on behalf of cracked for not presenting this to you sooner in the hopes that it may have saved you from sitting through hours of bad acting, writing, screen play, and a trip to a theater where the only reason you are there is because (unknown to you), she is trying to get you realize that she also wants equal dramatic conflict in her life, where you fight it out with another dude to convince her that bestiality is better than necrophilia.

Your sentence was longer than Dudley Wayne's!

I was going for a personal record for a run on sentence.  I'd have to check, but I think I beat it.

[DarkTrinity]

I like the first three movies actually (besides Kristen Stewart's horrible excuse for "acting"... If you can even call it that...) This movie was just so..... awkward.... Especially the wedding speeches... wowwww. I actually fast-forwarded through parts of the movie...
Hopefully she plays a supposedly gorgeous vampire better than she plays a human being... But my hopes aren't high.

[HamsterPants]

I like the first three movies

It was difficult to take you seriously after that.

[DarkTrinity]

I like the first three movies

It was difficult to take you seriously after that.

I'm a chick, they're chick flicks, what do you want.
I didn't say they were the most awesome movies ever made. I side with George Takei in his Star trek/star wars own twilight any day of the week. Besides Kristen Stewart's painful acting, they're not the worst movies I've seen.

[czechmate]

I like the first three movies

It was difficult to take you seriously after that.

I'm a chick, they're chick flicks, what do you want.
I didn't say they were the most awesome movies ever made. I side with George Takei in his Star trek/star wars own twilight any day of the week. Besides Kristen Stewart's painful acting, they're not the worst movies I've seen.

Eh I like chick flicks...  The Twilight films are poorly acted (not just by Kristen), poorly written, adapted from very mediocre books to begin with, completely rapes the concept of a vampire, and has a very horrible excuse for a love story.  Also it's just mostly ridiculous all the way through.  That being said, they are insulted far too much.  The series is not the worst thing ever created.